


The Inside of Hammer (Not his actual inside. Just inside his thoughts and stuff.)

by Bakurakrazie



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-09-05
Updated: 2011-09-05
Packaged: 2017-10-23 11:17:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/249718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bakurakrazie/pseuds/Bakurakrazie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Could you tell that I couldn't think of a funny title for this? Because I couldn't.</p><p>This is a collection of little bits of writing either done from Hammer's POV, or just generally going more in-depth about Hammer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How I Became A Hero

**Author's Note:**

> Done for the application I submitted to play him at the Livejournal RolePlay known as Polychromatic. I really like this one!

It had been another good- scratch that- great day for Captain Hammer. Due to his cunning sense of imminent danger, he had been able to stop a potential bank robbery. It also helped that that he overheard the thugs talking about it, but if he hadn’t have known to be on that street in the first place, they would have never been able to stop them in time. As the felons were brought away in handcuffs, the lovely news reporter came up to him to ask a few questions. Of course she would, though; he was the hero, and it was as much her job to ask him questions as much as it was his to punch in the faces of evil.

“So, Captain Hammer, you’ve defeated yet another pair of criminals. We all know you’re good at what you do, but everyone’s dying to know, why did you become a hero in the first place?” She held the microphone up to his mouth, camera crew, and audience holding their breaths in anticipation.

He grinned, reveling in the moment and attention. He paused for exactly the right amount of dramatic tension, and then began. “Why did I become a hero? Well, with all my amazing strength, speed, and sheer athletic abilities, it would have been a _crime_ to not help everybody out. Although, if you did have to arrest me, I do hope that you’d be gentle with the handcuffs, Officer.” He held out his arms straight out in front of him, and threw a wink to a police woman that he’d had his eyes on for a time. She smiled, before going back to deal with her squad.

Oh yeah, he was totally getting laid tonight.

As much as that line might have sounded rehearsed, which it was, to an extent, it was the truth. He first realized his super-human abilities at a young age, and ever since then, he’d been on the side of justice. Even when he was younger, he’d been able to take on such menial villains like petty thieves. He remembered one of his earliest triumphs, it had been some old, wrinkly, smelly woman who had her purse stolen in the park.

Precocious little tyke that he had been, he ran up to the purse-snatcher, gave him a good punch in the gut, and returned the bag to the lady; the nice, full of money, bag. She had given him quite a handsome bit of what was in her wallet for his trouble, and there had been an article in the local paper. The attention had been addictive, and when he found out about the Evil League of Evil, he knew it was up to him to protect the people from harm’s way, he was to become Their Hero.

As the photographers moved in closer to take pictures, he called out to them, “Make sure that you don’t get my bad side on film, boys; oh. Wait, that’s right. I don’t _have_ a bad side. Ah-hah hah!” He struck a pose with him flexing his muscles, as people crowded around him.

Ah, it was good to be Captain Hammer.


	2. Heroically Hammer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a prompt on the Out of Character community that we have in Poly. It was 'heroics'. I wound up using bank robberies twice now! Yeesh. I like the first one better. Go back and read that one again instead.

It was an extraordinary day for Hammer. That is to say, it was an ordinary day for Hammer, which, just like every other day, was spectacular. Which means that it was average. But not average in the non-hero definition of average, because believe you him, he was above-average in every sense of the word. This was because he was a hero- a _super_ hero. Which meant that since he was a hero, life was super.

Not for the villains, of course, but it wasn't _supposed_ to be good for them. That's how the stories worked. In all of the tales his parents had told him when he was younger, and in the comics that he got off the less socially inclined villains, all told the same plot. Villain tries to take over the president, the world, the U.S. mint, CEO of a major company, or any other generally important noun, and the hero defeated them. Of course, many of the comics that he'd confiscated had had little notes written between the panels of certain pages, outlining what the felon had done wrong, but they'd all discounted one thing: Hammer.

For some reason they all forgot about Hammer when they were concocting their schemes. Or, at the very least, underestimated him, vastly. After all, it wasn't as though he hid his presence- no, he announced his presence as loudly as possible. Sometimes literally. Sometimes via musical number. The point was, he usually made sure that he wasn't a force to be forgotten, especially not by those who he'd defeated already. But he was fine with being overlooked during the planning period, if it only meant that his victory would be that much more spectacular.

Of course, lately, he hardly needed to do much of anything, with the regular criminals. The other day he had made an appearance at a bank that was being robbed, to tell the robber that he had one chance to put the gun down and give himself up quietly. He'd turned with the intention of fighting back, but once he saw Hammer's face, he threw his gun on the ground, arms up, and had given himself up without any fight at all. His comments to the reporters, "It ain't worth it to go against him. I know a guy whose hand ain't quite healed yet from when they went face to face." Or, at least, that's what the papers said his words were. Hammer hadn't been paying attention, as he'd been giving his own interview to the rest of the reporters, making especially sure to calm and reassure the bankers. Specifically that hot one that the robber had pulled the gun on. She'd be reassured, alright.

Sexually. Later on in the night. When she came over to his place.

Yet somehow, it was the super villains that he enjoyed fighting the most. Even though they always thought that they could defeat him, even though they required him to actually exert himself, even though they sometimes hated Hammer to the point of going into his home. Or rather, it was _because_ of those things.

Because while he loved the women, the fame, the free stuff (and himself, of course), the one thing he really loved, were the heroics.


	3. Hammer Is Never Embarrassed! (Well okay, except for this one time . . . )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again at Poly's OoC comm. Someone asked "What is Hammer's most embarrassing moment... (ignoring his first adventure with pain courtesy of Dr. Horrible, and the probably aftermath of said event)"
> 
> This is not written ICly, and I may change that one day. Then again, I may not. It's hilarious this way maybe.

HAMMER IS NEVER EMBARRASSED.

But he has had some traumatic experiences. Which are actually pretty embarrassing, because Hammer is never traumatized. I don't know how much you read into and/or analyzed Hammer's parts in DHSAB, but there's two issues that he outwardly presents in it. Both in the same song, actually! So They Say AKA On The Rise AKA My Eyes. One of which is that odd face he makes when there's geese that swarm around him.

And in that same song, they show the homeless guy touching his shoulder and him cringing. And in his Everyone's a Hero song, he refers to bums as 'scary'.

MY HEADCANON, THEREBY, is that when he was younger, he had some incidents with them. Homeless guys spend time in parks, just like geese. Now, Hammer had always been taught to be on his best behavior, but he'd been in some trouble in school when he was in elementary school, due to him kicking bullies' asses. His parents told him that he had to stop beating people up, and around this time they went for a walk in the park.

It was in this park that there was a homeless man with schizophrenia in the middle of a swarm of geese. He'd been eying Hammer and his family since they entered the park, and then his parents told him to wait there for a second while they got something from the car. In that time, the man went up to him, gave him a leerish grin, and was saying something sort of nonsensical, although fairly good-spirited. Hammer was trying to be polite about telling him to go away, but the man was insistent, patting him on the head and shouting, and the geese were flocking and flying around and getting agitated. By the time that his parents got back he was raising his arm to punch the hell out of everything.

He was stopped by them, saying that he shouldn't do that to him; he wasn't a bad guy, and they directed him away. But as he looked back, he still saw that half-crazed grin and heard the honking of geese. It was especially traumatic because it remains the one time that he wasn't allowed to defend himself. So, in his mind, the man and the geese won. He hasn't gotten over it, and they still freak him out a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously though, if you've got another idea/prompt you'd like to see me write about, leave me a comment and I'll do it. As of now I've got nothing more to do with him and these little stories.


End file.
